How to Deal with Dog Separation Anxiety

I've had quite a few new dogs in for training with separation anxiety so I wanted to break it down and touch on all the contributing factors that cause this to happen and how we can help our dogs relax. First, we need to determine if it is true separation anxiety vs. confinement anxiety. If your dog is ok being left alone to free roam while you are out and only throws tantrums in the crate, it is probably the confinement part of the equation that is making them anxious. If your dog whines, cries, barks or destroys things while you are gone, it is true separation anxiety. While we address issues in the crate the same, other factors come into play outside of the crate and we need to make sure we address those accordingly. 

Issues in the Crate

One of my dogs in for training is totally fine to free roam and will go in his crate willingly while people are home, but as soon as you shut the door and go to leave an all out tantrum will occur. When they were trying to crate train him as a puppy, the business downstairs actually threatened to call the police on them because there was so much barking (!!!). Understandably, that stopped their crate training efforts in its tracks. 

The reality is that sometimes dogs need to be crated, whether thats when they go to the vets, when you are staying at someone else's house, when you go away or whatever reason! A lot of times it is for the dogs own safety, so that they don't get into things they shouldn't. Creating a cozy, safe space for your dogs is always something I will advocate for. 

The first step in introducing (or re-introducing) the crate is to create polite manners when entering and exiting the crate. Creating a permission-based relationship with your dog will allow your dog to relax and not worry about what is going to happen next.

To start, I have the dog on a leash and prong so I am able to create clarity about what I do and don't want. Walk briskly up to the crate and stop abruptly at the door while using gentle leash pressure to guide the dog back if they try and rush in. After a moment of politeness, you can say "crate" and guide the dog in using gentle leash pressure. Once in, the majority of dogs will immediately turn around and try to come back out. In this scenario, you can use the crate door and close it to keep the dog from rushing out. As the dog begins to relax, you can slowly open the door. If they try to push their way out, close the door and repeat as needed until they are fully relaxed with the door open.

Once they are able to wait in the crate with the door open, you can pick up the leash and give your release command "ok" and allow them to exit the crate. Continue to do repetitions of this until your dog is going in and out with ease. Creating clarity in situations that typically cause your dog to have anxiety makes them feel safe. Most dogs just don't understand that they are to stay in there and wait for you to return. 

Interrupting the Anxiety Cycle

Once you have created a solid foundation for polite manners entering and exiting the crate, you can begin to start leaving your dog in the crate with the door closed for short amounts of time while you are home. I understand that sometimes we need to put the dog in the crate and go to work, but the time to practice this is when you don't have to leave and you can take your time working through these training exercises. This also helps the dog understand that spending time in their crate isn't a cue that you are getting ready to leave. 

Start with 5 minutes in the crate. Once you walk away, the chance is very high that your dog will start to bark, whine claw at the crate, etc. It is super important to interrupt these moments. You need to interrupt with something that the dog deems a valuable consequence. How do you know the consequence worked? The behavior stops. I personally use an Ecollar, pet convincer or a bonker. The goal is to stop the anxiety cycle in its tracks so that your dog has no other option but to relax. The behaviors that you need to interrupt may be very subtle and can include smelling the bars, pushing against the bars with their nose, pawing excessively at their bed, etc. The earlier you stop this, the less chance your dog will have to escalate. 

Once you are able to get your dog solid in the crate while you are there, now its time to leave! When I have dogs in for training I will just go out front and watch them on a baby monitor so I "left" but I am still able to hear them and correct. You can also use Facetime or an app on your phone/computer if you don't have a baby monitor handy! Again, start with short times and gradually increase as your dog begins to relax.

Leaving the House

If your dog has any type of anxiety revolving around you leaving I always stress to never make a big deal of good-byes. It is sad to leave your dog for the day, but in order to help them work through this we need to set them up to be successful. No talking, no petting, no lingering goodbyes. All of this causes their adrenaline to begin to increase and heighten their anxiety. We want to keep the dogs adrenaline as low as possible when we leave so they have the best chance of staying calm and self-regulating their emotions. 

I would also recommend putting your dog in their crate 15-20 minutes before you actually leave so that you have the opportunity to interrupt the anxiety cycle right off the bat. This way you can leave when your dog is in its calmest state. 

Controlling Movement

Typically dogs with separation anxiety have other "symptoms" as well so when starting a new training client I always ask about the dynamics when the owners are home. The majority of the time the dog is following them around the house from room to room and has to be directly next to them at all times. This is your dog controlling the space in the house and every time you move away they "panic" and to alleviate that feeling they get closer to you. In the wild, packs of dogs never separate so it is natural for your dog to feel anxiety about it. Unfortunately we can't spend all day with our dogs, we do have to buy them food! 

With that being said, it is important to prepare our dogs to be independent from us and teach our dogs how to cope when we do leave. Teaching a super solid place command with lots of duration sprinkled in helps our dog learn how to self-soothe and cope with not being near us at all times. Separation anxiety is a tough one to crack in training as it takes time and you need to be super consistent. Just like with people, mindset can change so keep going! And for tough cases, I would definitely reccomennd getting help with a dog training professional near you. 

Why I Use Prong Collars

There are so many tools in dog training, and it can certainly be overwhelming trying to choose. There is also a lot of information out there on what training tools to use and why or why not. Dog training methods bring out the passion in people and I completely understand as this is where I started too! My foster dog was OUT.OF.CONTROL. and no amounts of treats or bribes would help! I dutifully did my homework from each training class to no avail. I was frustrated and at the end of my rope. I had asked my rescue for help and advice and was met with silence (a post for another day:). This led me on a long and windy google adventure which landed me where I am today. 

I still cringe thinking about one of the first walks I took him on the Promenade in Canton. This is a beautiful walkway which has the most amazing views of the Inner Harbor with incredible houses overlooking the water. I was with some girlfriends and we were walking to a coffee shop in Fells Point. We never made it. He was on a slip lead and I was so miserable that we had to turn around. He dragged me all over the path, my arm was sore and he couldn't even see another dog or he would let out this awful screeching noise. I was embarrassed, defeated and couldn't wait to get home. 

I think back now to the difference that training tools could have made and it honestly makes me sad. He would have enjoyed so much more and I would have enjoyed my time more with him. My experience with him set me on my path so I don't regret it a bit, but this is why I am so passionate about SHOWING people the difference that training tools can make. It is one thing to talk about it, but when I saw other dog trainers making a difference in such a short amount of time I was hooked. 

Prong collars look bad, there is no doubt about that. Before I started in balanced training, I too felt that hesitation! But the reality is that this is how your dog communicates, and it starts from birth. The prongs mimic the mouth of another dog. When rearing her puppies, the mother dog uses pressure from her mouth to communicate. Have you ever seen a video (or real life) of a puppy biting its mother too hard? The consequence is immediate and to the point. She's not mad, but puppy teeth hurt and she wants to make sure they don't do it again. What about a dog at a dog park that is pestering another dog or being rude? A dog that is balanced will use its mouth to let the other dog know that its not ok to do that. Sometimes they get it, and sometimes the dog will have to give a firmer correction to get his point across. 

The beauty of the prong collar is that it can be incredibly soft and the results are almost immediate when introduced properly. Most dogs are so out of control because they truly don't understand what you are asking. The pressure brings familiarity and understanding to your conversation. When I introduce the prong, it is to show the dog to give to the pressure and follow my lead. Dogs need stability and crave structure. This allows them to relax and make better choices when faced with exciting situations. 

The following video is this dogs first time in a prong collar. The very first step in training is to cut out the adrenaline and ask them to follow me. As you can see, the dog immediately relaxed and began giving some great eye contact. The end goal of training is always a better relationship with good communication.